Small crimes.

Watching this video on YouTube, I couldn't control myself as I cried at the thought that I might actually end up in a loveless relationship. All of my life, I have been the less than emotional character in my own story. I am strong, but only when provoked. I found myself wondering if I would ever be in a relationship with any sort of passion, any sort of romance. I understand that I am young, but I cannot bring myself to end my current relationship for fear of what will happen. I cannot bear the thought of being alone, of spending nights alone and with no one to laugh with. But at the same time, I know that it may be a step towards that passionate relationship. I am simply too chicken-shit.


And if I do stay in this relationship, will it simply be a small crime? Or will that decision become the little white lie that completely sinks the vessel of my dreams? Are there men out there that believe in romance anymore? Are all of the chivalrous knights of King Arthur's round table gone? Are there any more noble cowboys? What about the heroes in fantasies? Am I merely a child for wanting them to jump off of the pages of books and appear before me to give me hope for a future that will one day be mine to live?


If you can tell that a man loves you by the look in his eyes, what should you do if you can't ever tell what's going on inside of his head? What if he never really even looks at you unless it is in lust or mockery? That's the message in my latest creative endeavor - if I finish it, that is; I have a habit of not ever finishing the things that I start. I finish this post with my own creative endeavor, a scene from a script that I intend on finishing. The backdrop is that Catie and Richard have been forced to marry because of her father's dying wishes, despite the fact that Richard is ten years her senior. Richard, a military man, displays no emotions towards Catie, and this is an emotional confrontation that takes place after Catie watches Richard's interactions with a young boy that he rescued. He is kind and gentle with the boy, which is something Catie has never seen in her husband.



INT. THE JONES HOUSEHOLD - NIGHT

CATIE: Do you honestly have no affection at all for me?

Richard turns from the cabinet, taking a sip from his scotch, looking quite confused.

RICHARD: I do.

Catie does not laugh, nor does she smile. Her answer is quick.

CATIE: Really? You have a funny way of showing it.

At her words, Richard puts down his drink and comes closer to her, folding his arms over his chest as if trying to understand her.

RICHARD: I am responsible for you.

Catie shakes her head in frustration, the tears in her eyes finally coming down her cheeks.

CATIE: Thank you, Commodore. I'm leaving now.

As she turns to leave, Richard catches her by the wrist, turning her so that she faces him instead of the door.

RICHARD: Where are you going?

Catie tries to jerk her arm away from him, but he holds on.

CATIE: Why does it matter? You don't care.

Richard does not let go, and his words are said with authority and in a matter of fact kind of way.

RICHARD: I do. I care for you.

Catie looks into his eyes to see nothing but an unreadable blank stare filled with confusion. He does not understand.

CATIE: Well, then. You are without a doubt the greatest thespian of all time.

She tries to walk away again, but his other hand goes to her other arm so that he is holding both of her wrists.

RICHARD: I care.

His words are strangled and difficult for him to say.

CATIE: You have the emotional range of a rock. No, not even a rock. A rock can at least be used in angry situations and has sharp edges.

His eyes and words match now, as his voice is still strangled. His words are strangled and difficult for him to say. For once, Richard and her eyes meet, and there is something deep inside of them that burns into her own. It is bright and it is passionate, something new.

RICHARD: I care for you, about you.

It is a breathless moment when his lips meet hers. It is a kiss that is full of a passion that had previously been missing from the relationship, as if in that explosive moment all of their passion engulfs them. But they are interrupted.

PRIVATE: Commodore. Forgive the interruption.

The two break away from each other, heavily breathing and holding hands. It is without taking his eyes off of Catie that he answers, his eyes still full of that passionate fire that has awoken inside of him.

RICHARD: What is it, Private?

PRIVATE: There's been a disturbance, sir. You are needed at the fort.