So much for my happily ever after...

My favorite movies seem to always be the ones with endings of torture or sadness. I've yet to come across a happily ended movie that has changed my way of thinking or made any sort of profound impact. In my Mass Communications class, we talked about how the movies that we love and the characters we identify with says something about ourselves. I recently watched the movie "The Painted Veil" and was completely drawn to the characters in such an amazing way. The entire movie was exquisitely made, from beginning to end.


But most importantly was the relationship of Kitty and Walter. I could not help but imagine myself in that situation with my current leading man, Allen. He, like the character of Walter, is a scientist of sorts that does not believe in anything unless he can prove it. He is not exactly what could be described as an emotional person. In fact, I often feel that I identify with characters just based on their love and devotion to their significant others. His way of showing affection is quite similar to a child; he buys presents and loves surprises. And while I do love spending time with him, I oftentimes wonder if this is really love and what it is supposed to feel like.


Allen doesn't like children. He wasn't raised around them like I was. He barely plays with my nieces and nephew. He does what he wants to do, and sometimes we do what I want to do. I find myself giving up to stop a fight from happening, to avoid the fights that should under all circumstances happen. Today (technically yesterday since it's nearly 1 a.m.) was our anniversary. We have been together for six years (granted we have broken up for three days total through those six years, all of which dealt with Allen's feelings about a certain Maynard girl and the possibility of them becoming more than friends). Perhaps that is why I identified so well with Walter; we have both been hurt by those that we cared so deeply about. Often, Allen is much to narrow minded to realize that there are other things out there. He doesn't want to really travel unless there is good fishing and good beaches involved. I guess all of this rambling could go on for days, weeks, perhaps even years. But my point is this: if we identify with the characters we are most like, is it really worth noting that all of my favorite characters are victims of their lovers' decisions? Will my ending be happier than my fantasy counterparts? I don't know for now, but I do know that there is somewhere out there for me. I just don't know whether I've met him yet or not. Perhaps one of my personal favorite characters said it best, below.